I enjoy understanding human emotions, trying to feel what another person is feeling, why there are doing something, what is behind their every action. When I started reading(Tarot) it gave me another opportunity to do that. But over the time it has become painful. It is hard when you see someone in pain, and stay objective. To not react. To not feel. It aches. I am writing today in this ache. It will not help others but it may soothe my heart a bit.
I believe in the saying that Life is Beautiful. But, now I have understood that this saying is incomplete. Life is beautiful, but this beauty is hidden to those who are not brave enough to deal with its ugliness first. To feel the rose in your hand, you have to be poked by thorns first. Irony is that what makes this life worth living also make it a living hell, and that is Love.
80% of the problems that I have answered till now are based on Relationships. Some problems are between spouses, some due to In Laws, some from co-workers too, and some are two people in love trying to be together against their very own blood relations.
This just breaks my heart, to see your very own parents trying to break heart of their kids, just because their culture did not approve of love marriages. Seriously, Indian parents do need to grow up.
In other countries(developed), at least lovers only have to focus on if the other person is right or wrong for them. In India, No, this is not enough. That other person should be right for me, and my Parents, My siblings, my doggy, my aunties, my nephews, my neighbors, and my neighbors doggy too. If not, well love is another thing but you can not get married. Even if you manage to pick a suitable candidate that can fit on every standard set by your family and relatives; even then his/her character must be bad, otherwise why would they have fallen in love.
Most surprisingly, parents of a boy, always feel that their son is so good and noble; it is that characterless girl who is trying to seduce the poor boy. Their son is an avatar of Shri Raam, while that girl must be Shuparnakha or some other demon. In one moment you become characterless if you love someone before marriage.
While, on the girl side; girl has obviously lost her character and ‘Maryada’. She has brought dishonor to the whole family, and the boy, who she loves. He must be a ‘sadak-chaap, ‘awara’, who want only one thing from our daughter – Sex. Yes, sex is the only possible reason, on why someone could love your daughter.
No matter how perfect both of them could be for each other, just because they love each other, their marriage is doomed to fail. Because it is only arranged marriage which can survive the test of time. So if you will do an arranged marriage, we will get you a gaon ki seedhi saadi ladki, who will cook for you, will sleep with you without saying no ever, will do your laundry, clean your home, and also give birth to your offspring, your vansh. What we are not telling you is that she can never be your soulmate. She will be a maid for you, and you will pay her in regular expensive saarees, jewelry, and a daily dose of nagging too. She will not be the one with whom you can share your joy and sorrows. She will not be the one who has your heart. Who has loved you more than anything else in this world. She will be a wife to you, a mother to your kids, a bahu to your parents, but she will never be your soulmate, because your soul died the very same day when you left that girl, who was still holding your broken heart while you were busy crushing hers.
It does not matter if you are a boy or a girl, or parent of one; who is in love. Do understand one thing. There is no greater pain than a broken heart. There is not a greater curse than the one which came from a broken heart. A single tear from a broken heart can make your life disintegrate into a million pieces. Never break a heart. No matter how much you want your kids to follow in your footstep or respect your culture. This pain is not worth it. Don’t give this pain to anyone. Your kids respect you enough to wait for your acceptance. Do not lose their respect because of your worthless Ego.
Never break a heart filled with love. It may never learn to love again. What could be the greatest sin than that?