“Shaadi Kardo, sab theek ho jayega (Get Married, Everything Will Be Fine), if you have heard this from your parents; I could say with almost certainty that you are the kid of an Indian parent.
Marriage is the ultimate solution to every problem in the eyes of your parent. It doesn’t even matter if you have reached an age of maturity, as long as legally you can be married; they will marry you, or threaten to marry you, if you have misbehaved in any way. So, if you are above 20 years of age, and still unmarried… chances are every bad thing that you will do, will result in your parent screaming in agony – beta/beti haath se nikal gaya.
God save you, if your relatives came to know of it. Then you will for sure get marriage advises pouring like rain in thunderstorm. They will not only bombard you pictures of suitable partner for you but also gladly take part in discussing the pitiful circumstances of your parents. Bechare Maa Baap.
It doesn’t even matter what kind of problem you have fallen trap to.
You are smoking – Get married.
Drinking – Get married.
Fallen in love – Get married, preferably not to your love interest.
Not respectful towards your parents – Get married.
Spend too much time out of home – Get married.
Problem is, do parents ask themselves, how this problem is going to get solved after marriage?
So, if you are smoking, or drinking, and your parents decided to marry you to get rid of this bad habit. Aren’t they trying to say that we have failed in our 20+ long years of parenting, so we are expecting a new person, possibly your new bride, to not only adjust to a new home, new husband, new family, but also to work on your addiction to improve you. :O
A girl who is same as your age, or younger, is now put in charge of making you a decent human being. A girl, who has just had the most life changing experience of her life by getting married and moving to a new home, is now expected to work not only on her problems but yours too. Was that part of the deal when she said yes to this marriage?
Or, what if she fails?
What if she is not able to get these bad habits out of you, then what? Are you going to support her, or your son?
Is it really her fault, or is it yours?
When you expect a well-educated, well-behaved, cook, beauty queen, cleaning lady, out of a newlywed girl, did you offer her a well-behaved, loving, decent, caring husband too?
If you are marrying your kid, because he/she love someone, who is not your choice; then aren’t you trying to destroy 4 lives, and in turn 4 families by this decision. Life of the boy and girl in love, and those who they will get married to.
Again, if you married your daughter/son to someone else other than their preferred one; aren’t you saying that we have failed at parenting and let their life partner now deal with this issue.
If your kid is spending too much time out of home, and you are not aware of the whys, then why are you risking ruining their life partner life?
If your kid is not respecting you, why do you think he/she will respect their life partner? What will you do if he/she will abuse their life partner? What will be your plan then?
Marriage is not a solution to this, your Parenting is. Be a good parent and please do not ruin life of someone else. Your son/daughter is your own responsibility. By marrying them you cannot transfer your responsibility to someone else’s son/daughter.
Marriage is not a solution, and please do not make it a Problem.