Sexual assault | My Journey So Far….

I read about the Rape of a 6-year-old girl, in her school by a Teacher. It was not the first time, that I have read about such gruesome thing. Last year, a 3-year-old girl from Delhi, was in news for the same reasons. We forgot about that three old girl. We will forget about this six-year-old too.

What is the point of remembering something, which you don’t want to talk about?

Everyone of you (I hope everyone), must have felt disgusted reading about it, or watching it running as a story on news channels. But, how many of you, have talked about it? Not on Facebook, or twitter, or just making a conversation in your office or college canteens? But, at your home, with your parents with your sons or daughters, with your husband or wife, with your brothers or sisters?

We didn’t talk about Rapes, not in our homes. It’s a bad thing. It’s a shameful thing to talk about Rapes. We can talk about murders, we can talk about thieving, we can talk about corruption, we can talk about Politics, Movies, cricket; but we will not talk about Rapes. It’s a very unspeakable thing to talk about Rapes. We are living in a society where we don’t talk about Rapes.

Rape is not a Crime. Not talking about Rape, is a Crime. Not taking action about Rape, is a Crime. Asking them to keep quiet is a Crime.

Once we are in a society where it is not bad to talk about a Rape, then maybe we can say, that Rape is a crime.

We as a society are the ones, who promote Rapes. We would expect from our married sons, to have dominance over their wives. We are the ones, who give precedence to our sons than to our daughters. We are the ones, who teach our girls to be soft-spoken and polite; and our boys to be aggressive and strong built. We do not want our daughters to make friend with a rape victim/survivor. We don’t even want to see them daily around us, in our neighborhood. So, we give them looks – like you do not belong here; Or, you have done a crime because you reported Rape, or crime that you got raped. We may go and protest with you, all with scented candles and fiery slogans, but deep down, we want to forget about you, as soon as possible. Afterall, it’s your daughter who got raped, not mine.

Isn’t this a reality? I truly hope, that none of you think that way, but we do behave in this way. If you want to help, then talk about it, among your friends, your family. We can not always be with our kids to protect them, but atleast we can tell them from what they need protection from.

Rape is not bound to a specific place or country, or a city, or to a particular age group. They are happening everywhere, to every class or age of girl, as you can imagine. Only thing that makes the difference is the way people come out to support the rape survivors. We can not hang a Rapist, it’s the role of justice department and police to take the rapist to his destination; but we can certainly help the survivor. We can help, in making our schools, our neighborhood, our home, safe for women. We can help in making our kids respectful towards woman.

Rape is a Sinful Crime — Linor – Brave Miss World

I was watching a documentary movie on Brave Miss World – Linor Abargil, who was Raped six weeks before she was crowned Miss World in 1998. She spoke about it and helped not only herself, but thousands of such women by helping them to speak about their ordeal. Linor survived, but it was the support of her family, her friends, and the society that supported her in every way, that contributed to her success story.

I would wish on it that no woman or man would ever get raped; but I would act on it to make my kids honorable and stronger. This is what I can contribute, and what I’ll do.

Boss & Employee Sexual Relationship — Boss and Employee Sexual Relationship

Indian media is going frenzy with the allegations pressed against the “Tehelka” Magazine editor “Tarun Tejpal”, of sexually harassing a junior journalist. It is shocking to see a renowned media person involved in such a crime, but more shocking is his statement “I feel atonement cannot be just words. I must do the penance that lacerates me. I am therefore offering to recuse myself from the editorship of Tehelka, and from the Tehelka office, for the next six months.”. Read full letter here.

Is this enough? I don’t think so, moreover who is he to decide what punishment he should get? I am quite miffed by this incident, but intent of writing this post is not to talk about this case. Intent is to share my thoughts on the Boss and Employee relationship; relationship that is more than just office work.

Men and women working in an organization together is pretty common, more common is the healthy flirting that goes on between them in the office environment. I am calling it healthy, because this could be a way to break that sexual barrier/tension between the two sexes. But where to draw the line?

Answer to this is not very simple. It actually varies from person to person. Depends totally on the how the other one is going to perceive your gesture. But it’s never a good idea when the two person involved are Boss & Employee or Senior and Junior. If one of them has the power to influence the appraisal or work assignments of the other one, than they should not be, more than the friendly coworker.

Having worked in major organizations for more than seven years, I have witnessed few of such incidents. One that I would like to cite here, is that of a manager who was giving some extra attention to a female employee working two ranks lower than him. It came in notice when that female employee got promoted way before her scheduled time, even when she was not working on any active projects. Manager got sacked, and girl got promoted, again.

Sometimes it’s the other way round too. I have seen many girls, specially in IT field, who are surviving in the industry not because of their knowledge but because of their other skills. One senior manager once asked me to give good ratings to a girl working under me. I objected, as she used to spend more time in coffee breaks and arranging parties in office, than in completing her assigned work. The girl was positioned under another team leader, the very next day. A cute smile, a gentle pat and a little twinkle in your eyes can get you a long way. Long long way…. 🙂

To share a funny incident, once I have seen a guy, helping a girl in distress by trying to write a Java software code for her. Funny thing was, he didn’t even knew what Java was. He couldn’t complete her work, but he did manage to sit with her for half the day. What did the girl get? She managed to get the attention of her team leader, who than sat with her for other half of the day, to complete her work.