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‘Mona Lisa Smile’, but is she happy?

Watched ‘Mona Lisa Smile’ yesterday. It was the second time I watched this movie. Can’t remember when I did watched it first time, must have been long. Well, it was released in 2003, and clearly, not a masterpiece to remember after such a long time. But, it still is worth a second watch. More so because of its basic story line.
What amazed me this time was, that how much it still makes so much sense. This movie was based on the women’s independence and role in society around 1953. Did I say 1953?
Now it is 2016, and is much changed for women since 1953?

A lot has been changed since then, but not for all the women. Some of them, who are still dependent on their husbands and families, or are not educated/strong willed, enough, still suffer the fate of being a woman. This is not a crime to be a woman, but to be a weak woman, and let males of your family/society walk all over you? That is a crime, in my view.
There is a dialogue in the movie – Mona Lisa is smiling, but is she happy?

The protagonist in the movie, a teacher played by Julia Roberts, asks one of her student, who was leaving her slaw study so she can marry, “Why can’t you have both?“
Why can’t someone have a career and a family too?
How many of you agree to this statement? How many of you have left their studies, or their job to take care of their kids, or to get married?

When a marriage discussion takes place between both sides of families, if the girl is working, first question that they ask is, so how will you manage your job and family? Are you going to quit? Are you going to relocate, in case girl works in different city? Nobody asks this from boy. Well, there job is far more important than a girl’s one, right? If you manage to keep your career on track, while getting married and fulfilling all your family responsibilities; wait till you get pregnant. Than question will be changed to, are you going to quit now? Are you going to give your kid to elders of the family to take care of as you will be busy in job? How are you going to manage a kid and a job? Nobody asks these questions to soon-to-be father.
Why can’t you have both?
Because no matter what you do, you leave your job to take care of your kid, or you decide to carry on your job while having a baby; you will be judged. You will be judged mercilessly.
Irony is most of the time people who are judging you will be women. Yes, we women, are like that.
This is still 1954. It is not 2016. we still live in a society where a woman is expected to sacrifice her professional life or else, she will be reminded of how bad a mother she is. Oh! your child stays in day care whole day, while you go to office. How he/she will turn out? Poor child is not getting mother’s love. What about poor child’s fatherly love?
I think women are not supposed to have it all. Wait. This sounds so negative. Let me rephrase that.
Women are destined to have it all, as long as they don’t give a shit about what others think of her decision.
I am happy now. Smiling too. Not a fake Mona Lisa smile, but having a hearty laugh while writing this shitty 1954 article. Happy smiling ladies.

Looks like she is happy too. 🙂
Most sinful is to break a heart filled with love

I enjoy understanding human emotions, trying to feel what another person is feeling, why there are doing something, what is behind their every action. When I started reading(Tarot) it gave me another opportunity to do that. But over the time it has become painful. It is hard when you see someone in pain, and stay objective. To not react. To not feel. It aches. I am writing today in this ache. It will not help others but it may soothe my heart a bit.
I believe in the saying that Life is Beautiful. But, now I have understood that this saying is incomplete. Life is beautiful, but this beauty is hidden to those who are not brave enough to deal with its ugliness first. To feel the rose in your hand, you have to be poked by thorns first. Irony is that what makes this life worth living also make it a living hell, and that is Love.
80% of the problems that I have answered till now are based on Relationships. Some problems are between spouses, some due to In Laws, some from co-workers too, and some are two people in love trying to be together against their very own blood relations.
This just breaks my heart, to see your very own parents trying to break heart of their kids, just because their culture did not approve of love marriages. Seriously, Indian parents do need to grow up.

In other countries(developed), at least lovers only have to focus on if the other person is right or wrong for them. In India, No, this is not enough. That other person should be right for me, and my Parents, My siblings, my doggy, my aunties, my nephews, my neighbors, and my neighbors doggy too. If not, well love is another thing but you can not get married. Even if you manage to pick a suitable candidate that can fit on every standard set by your family and relatives; even then his/her character must be bad, otherwise why would they have fallen in love.
Most surprisingly, parents of a boy, always feel that their son is so good and noble; it is that characterless girl who is trying to seduce the poor boy. Their son is an avatar of Shri Raam, while that girl must be Shuparnakha or some other demon. In one moment you become characterless if you love someone before marriage.

While, on the girl side; girl has obviously lost her character and ‘Maryada’. She has brought dishonor to the whole family, and the boy, who she loves. He must be a ‘sadak-chaap, ‘awara’, who want only one thing from our daughter – Sex. Yes, sex is the only possible reason, on why someone could love your daughter.

No matter how perfect both of them could be for each other, just because they love each other, their marriage is doomed to fail. Because it is only arranged marriage which can survive the test of time. So if you will do an arranged marriage, we will get you a gaon ki seedhi saadi ladki, who will cook for you, will sleep with you without saying no ever, will do your laundry, clean your home, and also give birth to your offspring, your vansh. What we are not telling you is that she can never be your soulmate. She will be a maid for you, and you will pay her in regular expensive saarees, jewelry, and a daily dose of nagging too. She will not be the one with whom you can share your joy and sorrows. She will not be the one who has your heart. Who has loved you more than anything else in this world. She will be a wife to you, a mother to your kids, a bahu to your parents, but she will never be your soulmate, because your soul died the very same day when you left that girl, who was still holding your broken heart while you were busy crushing hers.

It does not matter if you are a boy or a girl, or parent of one; who is in love. Do understand one thing. There is no greater pain than a broken heart. There is not a greater curse than the one which came from a broken heart. A single tear from a broken heart can make your life disintegrate into a million pieces. Never break a heart. No matter how much you want your kids to follow in your footstep or respect your culture. This pain is not worth it. Don’t give this pain to anyone. Your kids respect you enough to wait for your acceptance. Do not lose their respect because of your worthless Ego.
Never break a heart filled with love. It may never learn to love again. What could be the greatest sin than that?
You are just a Mom

Phew! I am writing after a very long time. Well, I was writing a lot of other stuff, but it’s been long since I wrote on my blog. Feeling a little jittery here.
Bear with me if you find any faults… just treat is as my first post… which most of you didn’t read actually 😦 Now, I am feeling bad.
Let me leave all these silly thoughts behind and directly come to the point.
As you read the title of this post, ‘You are just a Mom’, you will realize that this is also one of many posts about my kids. Yes, it is. What can I do, I have nothing else to write other than my silly conversations with my kids.
So, it so happen that Renne, my youngest, he likes to watch cartoon, just like the other two. Only thing, he likes to watch it from up close. If I am not near, watching him, constantly, as I love to do; he will be there just in front of TV within minutes. It is like every 10 minutes I have to peek from my kitchen to check on him. He never disappoint me. He is always near it, and as soon as he will hear me coming, he will jump and run towards couch in the same speed as flash, his superhero would do.
I have a very nice and soothing yelling voice, my kids and hubby won’t agree to it, but even my nightingale voice have a limit. So, instead I prefer giving them time out.
With Renne situation too, when I got tired of telling him again and again to watch TV from distance, I gave him a time out of 10 minutes.
Now, you must think how heartless I am, depriving my kid of watching cartoon for full 10 minutes. Yes, I am cruel, and you are not the only one who thinks this way.
Renne started crying, but he had no other choice, so the defeated soldier retreated to his time out zone.
When someone is in trouble, who came for rescue – Knight in shining armor.
In Renne case, it is his big brother, Otu.

To freshen your memory, Otu is just 1 minute elder to Renne. Both are twins. But Otu feel that 1 minute is enough to make him guardian of Renne. In fact he says that Renne is his baby, and not mine. Parenting is not that easy kiddo.
So, Otu Singh, came to rescue. Seeing his baby brother crying and not been able to watch cartoon, he came in kitchen to face me, with his hands on sides, just like a boss ready to confront his worst employee.
Otu: Why you punish my Renne?
Me: Because he was not watching TV from a distance.
Otu: You are just a MOM.
Otu: He is my baby. You can not punish him. Tell you that – You are just a mom.
Me: I am a Mom, and I can do anything.
Otu: No. Moms can not punish their kids. Moms only love kids. They don’t make kids cry. You can not punish him. He is my baby.
Ok, by now, I was speechless, and convinced too, that I am just a Mom.
A Mom of three kids, who are courageous enough to fight with the supreme leader of home (me), for the sake of each other.
Happy to be ‘Just a Mom’. 😛







