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Keep Your Critics Close

Image December 1, 2015 jcisnowjs Leave a comment

We all hate critics, specially the ones who have seen our struggles and yet…

Irony is, no matter how much we hate criticism; we all do need an honest critic in our life. Problem is everyone that we meet in life wants to be a critic, just not the honest type.

When it comes to others we are the first one to judge and give our verdict. Right or wrong, sometimes we just don’t know when to stop.

I too have faced this problem, but the other way around.

My problem is that I don’t have enough critics in my life. At least not those daring enough to speak directly to me.

Here I want to make this point pretty clear, that any one who think he/she is a good critic but speak only to your back, is just a jerk; not an inch of a critic.

A critic is the one who has the capability to stand in front of you and tell you what is right and wrong with the subject matter.

Moreover, what is the benefit of talking behind someone’s back, other than feel happy doing gossiping. Criticism is to suggest areas of improvement while gossiping is done just for the sake of pleasure.

As I have said earlier I don’t have the privilege of having enough critics in my life. It’s only one so far, and that person is my best friend for this sole reason.

I am pretty sure when you will go through the points ahead; you are also going to cross almost all the names from your long list of critics; and whoever is still left on this list, you would love to have them in your life. Are you ready with your list of critics?

First and foremost, cross all those who you think criticize you but they have never done so on your face. If there is even a single time that they have confronted you or told you what you are doing wrong, then keep them in the list.

Secondly, do this person criticize only you, or just everyone around him/her. If this person criticize everyone and everything in his life, than pardon this person and cross him out too. This person just need love and maybe some ‘Get well soon‘ cards. It’s in his nature to criticize. He is not doing it to bring something to your attention, he is just seeking attention from you. Best advice – Ignore.

Whoever is listed on your list now just take a note of what kind of critic they are. Does they ever praise you? Take a count of how many times they have found out something good in you and then check this count against the times they have found you worthless. If good point lists is less than even half of bad points; dump this person too. Just cross him out of your critics list. A critic is one who gives you an overall criticism, which involves sharing what you are doing good with your life along with what is going wrong in a fair manner.

So how many still left on the list?

Next, just see if this person is offering advice along with all the criticism or not. Advice or suggestions like this could have been done that way to make it better. For example – if someone says that you are not getting selected in interviews because of your communication issues, maybe you should try on this course, or read this book; or I will find out what we can do to help you with that. That kind of person is wroth keeping. Others just dump.

Lastly, check the tone of criticism. If they are rude to you, they are not a good critic. Anyone who speaks to you in a manner like – your life is a failure, is not worth listening to, even when he has tons of ideas to help you. It is just not worth it. Because no matter what you do with your life or where you will reach ultimately, these kind of negative words are enough to destroy you emotionally. Just stay away from them. No matter how close this person is to you, your family member, your friend or teacher, if whatever he says comes to you like poison to your ear; you need to keep up a distance far enough from hearing range. Cross this one out too.

Now, look at your list.

Whoever is now on your list, you consider them someone who speak truth to you, diluted or undiluted, but the truth. They are caring. They are kind. They are emphatic. They support you and want good for you. They are always the first to praise you when you do good in your life and also the first one to steer you away when you are headed in wrong direction. Most probably they will be last to leave your side, maybe never.

If you have even a single such person in your life, you are lucky. Most of us don’t have these kind of people and friends in their lives. If you find these qualities in a distant acquaintance too, try to keep this person nearby.

Just keep them close. Because they are the ones who will always guide you to do better in your life.

If you don’t have any such person in your life, then don’t fret.

You be the one.

Be an honest critic for someone. Be a mentor. Be someone, others can rely on for an honest advice.

Happy Criticism!!

Sketch

Darkness

Image November 29, 2015 jcisnowjs Leave a comment

So this was supposed to come on Halloween, but me being the laziest person around…. well, better late than never.

Life

5 Strategies for Time Management

Image November 26, 2015 Shalini Goyal Leave a comment

As originally posted at goyalsbit.com by Shalini Goyal

Time is what we want MOST and what we use WORST.

Imagine if you get some extra time added in a day – just an hour extra. What would you do with that extra hour ? Would you spend this time on that new initiative you always dreamed of? Would you go to your kids’ school if invited for a garden activity? Or may be invest it to cultivate an amazing relationship?

Yes, all this and actually every thing which you want to do and can do, needs one most important resource of all – ‘T I M E’. You can’t change the hours in a day but you can find that extra hour by doing a better time management.

The bad news is that time flies but the good news is that you are the pilot

time-management

So here I am going to propose five simple and yet extremely powerful strategies which if implemented, have the power to give you better time management, thus better results in your life.

5 Most Powerful Time Management Strategies

# 1. ‘Know the Need, know your Goals’

First thing, even before thinking about that extra hour a day, think about the priorities of your day, week, month, year and if possible of your life. Have you thought about that project revamp kicking off next year? about the kid starting primary education coming in few years? Or even the tickets booking for traveling back to your family in December?

WHATEVER IT IS, YOU MUST KNOW WHAT IS THAT YOU WANT TO AND NEED TO SPEND TIME ON.
ONCE YOU KNOW, NOTE IT DOWN SOMEWHERE SO THAT YOU CAN REVIEW IT PERIODICALLY AND CAN MAKE THE AMENDMENTS EASILY.

This list of ‘To Dos’ will bring the focus and clarity on what you want to achieve and the priority of all items. Believe it or not, it’s a first key to manage your time, better.

Refer 5 Vital Reasons to Set Goals to get more help on knowing your goals.

# 2. ‘Estimate’ (or just Guesstimate at least)

Estimate the time needed to work on each item in your list. This is the point when you face the reality. If you realize that there’s not enough time in the day/week/month/year to accomplish everything you want, it’s time to go back and prioritize your goals. Once you’ve identified the things that are most important to accomplish, schedule the activities that those goals will require, and set aside the rest of your goals for later. It is okay to put something on hold if you can’t afford the time, rather than spoiling other more important things you have to do.

Now, there would be items where you are not sure about the quantity of time investment needed. For example – ‘buying a new house’ might be a daunting project and can consume lot of time but to start with put aside a decent time for this so that you can review it periodically and can make the amendments easily. This way you would have something to begin with and make the correction later.

Estimating the time gives you a good feel of what you can achieve and what is that which is actually a low priority task to wait until you finish off your important stuff in the list.

# 3. ‘Create a Daily Schedule’

The power of a ‘daily schedule’ is beyond imagination. It should be a ‘must to do’ in your everyday task list. All those meetings in your diary, the trainings you have to do, traveling in the bus, eating your 5 a day and anything you need to do in your day, should be included in there to ensure you actually put aside some time for them. Many people create a sticky note for each day’s task which works like a check list as well and helps to stay focused.

At the end of each day, it is important again to look back at your check list and review what got missed and needs a cover up may be on an immediate next day or week.

Daily schedule should also include spending time on those goals which you plan to achieve in a longer duration. It is completely up to you how you want to add activities for every day so that your daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals can make progress.
For example, To appear for a certification exam next quarter, 30 mins study during the night.

# 4. ‘Keep Score’

If you can keep the score, you can definitely work on it.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Thomas A. Edison

It is okay to fail if you know and are ready to acknowledge the fact that you need to plan better, estimate better and execute better. At a particular frequency, you must review your plans, priorities and the estimates. Find out how much you planned to do and how much you actually did. What is that which distracts you most from your plan and what boosts you the most?

Last minute meeting cancellation, surprise visit from friends, traffic jam for hours, power off, queues at billing counters and many more reasons you lose time unexpectedly. But it is absolutely fair to accept that and figure out if you can set aside some buffer time for all this and if you become lucky one day because there was not a single person in the queue, time would be all yours.

# 5. ‘Schedule the scheduling’

Last but not the least, schedule the scheduling. Often we don’t realize that we need the time to spend on ‘timing the activities’. Yes, that’s needed. If the coders keep coding without knowing what they need to write for, imagine what would be the results. In the same fashion, if you keep spending the time like it comes for free, you can imagine the goals you are going to achieve.

For every single strategy to work for you, you need to first spend the time on scheduling them. What time of the day is best suitable for you to chalk out the daily plan? Last thing of the day for next day or is it first thing in the morning? How frequently you are going to review your estimations done for your goals? When are you going to look back at the scores? All these questions must be answered to make these strategies do magic for you and change your life forever.

Just follow these strategies for a month and the benefits you would receive, would know no boundaries. So, when are you scheduling to schedule?

Don’t forget to share your thoughts below in the comments section.

Life, Movies

Why Kiran & Aamir Khan are worried for their kids

Image November 25, 2015 jcisnowjs Leave a comment

Aamir Khan is trending. He is everywhere; Twitter, Facebook, News… everyone who has an opinion, is sharing their thoughts on Aamir Khan’s recent controversial comments against Intolerance.

Yes, Intolerance is also a very famous topic nowadays. Infact more famous than Aamir himself. Shahrukh and Aamir combined are not bigger than Intolerance. That’s a real bummer.

I do not wanted to write on this topic but it is so damn tempting, so, please God help me.

Focusing solely on Kiran and Aamir Khan’s dinner table conversation of leaving India and go to some other countries because of rising Intolerance and a growing fear for the well-being of their kids; I would say she is right in choosing this option, it’s just that her reasons are all wrong.

I can imagine them worrying for their kids and their want to give them a better and peaceful world to live in. Only problem in their statement is the elephant in the room – Intolerance.

Let me give you some scenarios on why they would discuss on leaving India in relation to concern for their kids safety.

What is a possibility is that a kid can get killed in a random road accident with driver fleeting the scene and no bystander coming to help that small kid or take him to hospital; until and unless some celebrity is involved.

What could happen is that a kid can get raped, regardless of being a girl or boy, or of whatever age. It doesn’t matter if he is 3-year-old or 30. it doesn’t matter where this take place, it could be his very own home, raped by a cousin or maid; or it could happen in his school by his teacher or school janitor/sweeper. Damn, it could happen in a moving bus.

A child could be molested by his school bus driver. He could be physically or sexually abused in his school bus. He could be pushed from his bus at his drop point, even when bus is still running.

A kid could be hurt in his day care center, where he could be given a drug to make him sleep whole time. His baby sitter could shake him so hard that his brain will stop functioning normally. He could be pushed by his care taker or just beaten up, because he was crying too much.

A child can be kidnapped easily, specially if he is a fair/gora sweet chubby beautiful one; just because they sell well. Yes, someone can kidnap and sell your kid.

A child could contract a serious disease because a wrong blood is transfused in his body. He could easily have asthma or bronchitis seeing the pollution level around. Surprisingly even a mosquito can kill the child. Dengu, you see.

Point being there are so many things to think about when you are concerned about your child, and these were just from the top of my mind. If we start making list, I can guarantee that this list will be longer than Dhoom 3.

Ironically, our kids are not safe anywhere, be it any country. There is no guarantee that your kid will be safe when you stay in some other country. This is the world we live in. Problem is we can not leave this World. It’s easier to blame our country.

Why Aamir and Kiran are confusing all these issues with Intolerance is unclear to me. But, considering this point also, let’s say an in-tolerated person or group try to attack that innocent family.

Now, as I would see it this is a crime and that would be considered a terror attack.

This will be a terrorist activity, no less than that.

And, terrorism has no Religion.

None.

Why worry then, Aamir? What is the worry when you know very clearly that there is no religion specific group after your child? I can not even imagine that anyone is in this whole wide world would have given even a thought to hurting your cute little child.

There are worst things to worry for your child than rising intolerance in your country.

So, you (specially Kiran), sounded pretty silly when you just for the sake of talking about latest hot topic of Intolerance, created this mayhem with your points.

It shouldn’t have hurt that bad if these things wouldn’t have come out of the mouth of most sensible khan of the film industry.

Shockingly you seem to lose all your credibility by this one statement. I could give you a benefit of doubt because it was Kiran’s opinion and not yours. So, I will still try to picture you as the sensible one.

Just take this as a hint of what your nation’s mood is – it’s intolerant to silly comments.