If You Feel Offended

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There was a general prayer that I used to do since I started praying and that was “whatever is good, let me do only that; and whatever I do, let it be only good“.

Now, however, I have understood one thing that no matter what you are doing, it will impact the lives of some in a good way and others in a bad way. You could go ahead and develop a cure for cancer, or eradicate poverty from this world and still, you will be offending someone by these actions.

I do not want to imply that if this is the case, we should not try to be good or do good; instead, be good, be more good than you ever can be and not worry about what people are saying. “Kuch to log kahenge…”

I have observed over the past years that all of us are getting more sensitive. As far as I am concerned, I think this is a beautiful thing. We should be sensitive, kind and compassionate. But, the downside to this is that most of us get easily offended. Small-small things are making the people to react in outrageous ways, especially on social media.

Social Media – a medium where we can be social and civil. Medium to share our thoughts, some part of our lives, our happiness, our sorrows, our achievements. Who could have thought, this medium of sharing will be the biggest cause of people getting offended?

There are some simple rules which I follow and sometimes (forcefully) ask my husband to follow too –

  • If you can’t say anything good, it’s better to say nothing at all. That includes commenting on someone’s post.
  • Never comment on physical appearance if you are going to be a jerk about it.
  • If you can’t think of anything good to write, just write nice or beautiful; that is more than enough.
  • Someone’s Religious thoughts contradict yours. Ask yourself below questions-
      • What are you trying to achieve by commenting on it? If it is anything else other than satisfying your pride/ego then go ahead and comment.
      • Is it a specific attack on your way of religious thinking? Is this person going to understand your views and put them in the right perspective? Are both of you capable to have a civil conversation? If you have said ‘Yes’ to these questions, please go ahead and comment.
  • Commenting on Political Posts – a big NO, if you are going to write against the proposed views. Still, if you can’t help yourself and want to write, ask yourself –
      • Would you be able to say the same things on that person’s face?
      • Why is it necessary to make the other person agree with your views? Why can’t that person have his/her own political views?
      • Can it be said to them in a private message, rather than replying to a public post?
      • Is this person going to understand your views and put them in the right perspective? Are both of you capable to have a civil conversation?
  • What if someone shares nasty comments on your post? In this case, it becomes important to reply but often times I have felt that the other person is going through a tough phase and it is their frustration with their own life and circumstances that come out through their bad writing. Sometimes, it is best to ignore with a thank you and smile. But if you can’t understand the reason behind their behavior it would be appropriate to reply to them. Things to take care of though –
      • Not be harsh in sharing what you think is right.
      • Consider their viewpoint and then share yours.
      • Everyone has their own thinking and you cannot change it in a day, so give them time to understand and be patient.
      • If you can, it is best to talk to them in person or call them, instead of commenting publicly.
  • Name Calling – this is the ugly stuff, and I have seen so many so-called intellectuals mudding their social media by name-calling each other. Strangely, I do not have any suggestions or advice on that issue. I think there is no saving a Titanic here. Oddly enough these kinds of creatures just keep the entertainment going and nothing else.

I do try to follow my own rules but still, if I have offended anyone of you through my actions, I would like to apologize. I am growing continuously and will learn more lessons, but I cannot guarantee that my actions will not offend you in the future. Still, I would request you, to be considerate and talk to me, so that I can improve.

No Offending Stuff 😀

 

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