When was the last time you have given advice to someone? It could be just few minutes back or a week back or maybe a month back. It is in our nature to give advice and help others, regardless of the fact that the person on receiving end, is asking for it or not. :O
So, what if the other person does not want to accept our help? What if, he does not wants to be saved? What if he wants to drown? Drown in front of you?
What will you do, then?
Human tendency is strange in so many ways, sometimes we want to drown people so that we can rise in their absence, but most of the times, we want to save people. We want to help. We want to give advice. Why we may want to save others? It can be a totally different agenda. We prefer to save those, who we think can save us in future, or who have saved us in past so as to pay their debt, or we may want to save others, just so that we can feel good about ourselves, but most of the times, we always want to save those who we love or we wish well for. We want to give them directions on how to live a better life.
I have seen people giving advice to total strangers, specially if you are a Mom, you will get plenty of parenting advice from everyone around you, even from those who are not yet parents. I love giving advices too. It does feel nice, infact feel like that you are saving other persons life. So, even when I am giving advice to do some physical exercise and eat healthy food, to one of my friend, who is growing in size due to inactivity and negligence towards health. I do feel like I am the one who is trying to save this persons life. I feel good about myself. It does not matter much whether that person will actually start acting on my advice or not.
When it does matter is, the fact when someone close, or a loved one is involved. Our kids, our younger siblings and our family friends; we like them to grow and prosper. We like them, to listen to us. We like them to behave in a way we expect them to be.
All the time, that we are expecting this from them, we forget, that they maybe wanted to have their own mistakes. How can I save you, if you do not want to be saved?
When I tried to teach my kids, how to swim or cycle. I have to first teach myself, on how to loose them? How to set them free? So that, they can fall, swim on their own. Even when they learnt, it was hard for me to let them go. How as parent, as guardian, we always want to hold their hands, always trying to steer them clear of any troubles, how always trying to judge and decide what is best for them.
What we think is best for our kid, may not be what our kids have thought of as best. They can have different aspirations. They are allowed to think differently, to go different ways. They may or may not be as successful as we want them to be (in our perception), but they will be a person of their own.
That is most important. Isn’t it?