Category Archives: Life

Life

Only time I thought, I have more clothes than I should

Image June 19, 2015 jcisnowjs Leave a comment

You will never hear a girl say that she has more clothes than she should have, even when she will have more than a truck load of clothes. Never.

What you will hear, always, will be something like – ‘I don’t have anything to wear for tomorrow’s party‘, or, ‘I don’t have any matching clothes to go with my new nail polish‘, or, ‘ this dress I wore last summer too, how can I wear it again‘…. point being – A girl can never ever have enough clothes. 🙂

Me too.

Every time I plan to go somewhere I struggle with what to wear, and everytime I tell myself that I have nothing to wear. Maybe it’s time to go for shopping. So, if you are planning to invite me to a party, there is a 110% chance that I am going to shop a dress for it. Now to think of it, maybe that’s the reason my husband doesn’t prefer to party.

So, lets come back to our original plot. Time when I thought I had much more clothes to wear that I need.

That was the time I was packing all my stuff for our move to another city.

When I was packing my clothes, folding them, putting them in big bags, all my dresses, sarees, suits, skirts, everything from belts to scarves and counting every small to big item; realizing with every passing minute that why do I have so many things in my closet. Some dresses I haven’t even worn them twice and it would have been more than an year me buying them. Some were so old, I don’t even understand why I was still keeping them.

I decided to clean out my stuff before taking all my clutter with me to my new home. You won’t believe how difficult it is, one minute you were thinking why do you need all these stuff another minute you will attach some emotional value to your clutter and would not want to part with it.

Soon I realized that it’s not like I buy more clothes but it is more like that I do not let go of my stuff. I still had my tees from my college time still in wearable conditions lying in my good clothes section. I still have my dresses from 10 years back and I still use to wear them now and then.

Let it go… let it go…. that was the song from Frozen, playing in my mind at that time.

I did manage to separate out nearly half of my clothes. Donated them. Still had a lot to pack.

At the end, when all was packed, there were 3 big and 1 small suitcase packed just with my clothes while overall my rest of the family, my hubby and three kids, all together managed their stuff in just three bags.

There I was having more than everyone else in my family had, and still struggling to figure out what would I wear tomorrow.

Don’t worry, my this state of mind hadn’t lasted long. Just 15 days to our new place and I did manage to buy me a pair of shoes and a nice scarf. But, scarf and shoes doesn’t count, right??

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Life

Quote by William Shakespeare

Quote May 30, 2015 jcisnowjs Leave a comment

“The course of true love never did run smooth”

~ William Shakespeare from ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’

Life

Quote by Thomas Jefferson or Thomas G. West

Quote May 16, 2015 jcisnowjs 1 Comment

“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”

~ Thomas Jefferson / Thomas G. West

Life

Losing A Mother

Image May 13, 2015 jcisnowjs Leave a comment

Mishappening with a friend somehow forced me to revisit that void in my life, which can never be filled now. Made me question a lot of things. Most of them were questioning my behavior of that time. It made me realize how out of the moment I was. As if it wasn’t sink in to me till everything was way over. Did I handled it properly? Did I coped with it or am I still struggling with it?

There is not a single answer. Just more questions. More I question myself, the more complicated all these emotions get. I just think of one thing – Is it hard or easy for adults to cope with their Mother’s death? Does it become easier with age?

With earthquake in Nepal, so many small kids have lost their parents. Thinking of them who may never know what a mother’s love is anyway, makes my heart sink. A child who didn’t get to know about his mother, may never know what does it feel like to sleep in the warmth of his mother’s lap; or how a simple daal-chawal cooked by your mother tastes heavenly; or when you are sick and just a small touch of her on your forehead can relieve you of any pain; or that she is the only one who runs after you in the morning just so you can grab a bite before running towards your school bus. It will be a misfortune to never know any of this. Or, maybe a blessing because you will never know what you missed.

But, wouldn’t it will be a bigger misfortune when you experience all these things and then one dreadful day, you lose it. Everything. Suddenly warmth is gone from the sun. What remains are the cold shuddering dark nights.

You are adult, married, have kids, perhaps… you must be strong enough to handle this. You are not supposed to cry. Not supposed to say how you feel about it. Not supposed to express yourself, which is actually sometimes screaming your lungs out at midnight, just because your void is getting bigger each day instead of healing with time.

Whether you are a child, a kid, a teenager, an adult or even an elderly, the truth is that every time you are in pain, first person that you think about is your Mother.

Whenever you want to cry out, it is a Mother’s lap that you crave for. It doesn’t matter how old you are.

It just doesn’t matter what your age is, when your loss is this big.

There is no moving forward. There is no coping. There is no healing from this.