Tag Archives: Husband

Behind Every Successful Man

If I will get a nickel for all the times, I was introduced using this phrase….

As a person, we all have different roles that we play in a society like a Man is a husband, a son, a father, etc. Same with us Women who are mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, etc.

But what should be the general rule of thumb when you are introduced as someone’s husband or wife? Do post in the comments what you think about this?

Let me give you an example when my husband goes to my office gatherings, he is introduced there as my husband but the next question that they ask is what do you do? What are your hobbies? How do you spend your time away from work? Nobody assumes that he is just a husband. He has a personality that people want to know about.

On the other hand, when I am in a gathering and if I am being introduced by a person, especially from an older generation, as soon as they will say that I am a wife they will follow it with this cringe-worthy quote “Behind every successful man there is a woman.”

Not that, I don’t like to be introduced as his wife. I take pride in that. I am proud of him and his achievements, and ladies if you don’t know that he is married, well, I will parade my customized Mrs. Singh Purse in front of you like a hundred times.  

My problem with this quote is two-fold.

Firstly, when you say behind every successful man/woman or whatever, you are taking away credit for that person’s success. There are a lot of factors that go behind making a person successful, their parents, siblings, friends, education, and financial background, but mostly it is that person who despite good or bad situations chose to become successful. My husband could have been maybe more successful if he had someone else as his wife, or maybe not (as I chose to believe).

I read this story somewhere that two men met at a party and one offered a drink to another and said, I drink because my father was a heavy drinker and now, I am too. It is part of my childhood and I blame my father for giving me this bad habit. The other man declines the drink and says, I don’t drink because my father was a heavy drinker. I saw how alcohol ruined his life and now I have decided to stop this habit in my family generation.

The moral being, many get the same challenges, but it will depend on how you want to respond to your life challenges.

That is why nobody, your husband, or your wife, can make you successful. Own your success. Own your failures too. Your family could be a part of your journey, but it is YOU who are walking the path and making your own way.

The second problem that I see with this quote is why when a lady is introduced as a wife society felt the need to add this quote to justify her existence. It does not matter if you are a homemaker or a working woman, it is so insulting to prove that you are worthy of being a wife only if your husband is successful. What if he is a failure, then are you going to blame it on his wife too? And yes, people do that.

The notion that I let him be or let him do whatever he wants to do, implies that I could have been a nagging wife and stopped him from doing the things he does. So, I should be credited for his success, which is me being a quiet and submissive wife. Argh….

Why can’t a wife be vocal, an active partner, and successful as a team? Why do I have to let him be, why can’t we decide how to be in harmony with each other and work towards shared success. Why is it so hard for people to understand that it is no longer acceptable for a wife to STAND BEHIND?

I am and I will always be STANDING WITH HIM.

I Thought My Husband Was Going Deaf

I Thought My Husband Was Going Deaf, Abhishek Singh
I Thought My Husband Was Going Deaf

A normal day to day conversation between me and my hubby, Abhishek Singh.

Me: When do you want to have dinner?

Hubby: Hmn.

Me: Shall I bring the food?

Hubby: Hmn. (while watching TV)

Me: I am bringing the food. Okay?

Hubby: Hmmn. What? okay….

I have served food and now waiting for him to eat. Kids are already circling around like vultures, just not for eating but to topple everything and create a mess.

Me: Come, it’s getting cold.

Hubby: Hmn. okay.

Me: (after 5 minutes) Come and sit. (In a high pitch voice now, actually little higher than high)

Hubby: (as if he has just woken up) What? Why did you served it? I don’t want to eat right now?

Me: WHAT??? (I don’t have to tell you, what was my voice pitch at that point)

Hubby: I told you. Not now. I am not hungry.

Me: You could have said it to me earlier. When I asked you, I think just a hundred times. Angry smile

Hubby: Oh, didn’t I say it. Oh. Okay, I will eat later. Sorry yaar. (With a smile on his face. Not helpful at all)

I am now babbling so many things at once. Putting back everything, before kids get any chance to ruin whatever is left.

After 5 minutes.

Me: So, when do you want to eat? After how much time?

Hubby: Hmmn.

I Thought My Husband Was Going Deaf, Abhishek Singh
Abhishek Singh

I thought there must be some problem with my hubby Abhishek Singh’s ears, but later when I share my ordeal with my friends, I realized this disease is pretty common and incurable. 😦

It’s called Being Husband.


P.S. Abhishek Singh, DO Read This Post.


What is the worst thing in having a Vacation?

What is the worst thing in having a Vacation?
Disneyland and Us

It’s been almost a week when I wrote my last post “What My Kids Want From Me?”, and it seems harder now to write this one. As if I have lost the touch or that writer’s block kind of feeling. So after going through a blank mind for last two days I thought of writing about why I didn’t write for a week. Smart idea hmm….

I was vacationing. Yup, that’s the reason. Our fifth anniversary is coming up and also second birthday of my twin sons, so to celebrate, me and my husband decided to pamper ourselves with a holiday. A dream vacation. I am a mother of three now, but still if you would have asked me what is my dream vacation? My top three answer would definitely gonna carry Disneyland as one of the option. Still a kid from heart 🙂

Our trip included Universal Studio‘s theme parks, Disneyland and then we went to Miami and key west island. It was amazing. A really beautiful and wonderful experience. But this post is not to tell you about my vacation but rather to write about what part I didn’t liked.

What I didn’t liked was – The Preparation for Vacation.

Yes, here I said it all. It was too much tasking when you are going for a week long vacation and that too with small kids. Specially when you are something like me, a control freak. I need to have everything in control, and everything planned before I do anything. So when we sort of decided to go on a vacation, it was a nightmare for me. Nightmare because I was making plans even in my sleep.

 From finding the flight tickets to booking a nice hotel and then to find out what are places that you should see. Not to forget canceling out what you can not see, because of small kids or time crunch. But above all, it was the clothes. Like all women, I have whole cupboard full of clothes, in fact I have taken over a part of my kids cupboard too (just don’t tell my hubby :P). But, still when we decided to go on a trip, I found out that I do not have anything good to wear. Yeah, I know it happens with all the girls out there. Mission shopping started…

After doing a lot of shopping for me and kids I realized maybe my husband need some new clothes too. It’s always a good idea to buy something for him too, in case you don’t want to focus his attention on the shopping bills 😛

 Shopping done. Now to pack. Phew!

What to pack and what not to. By the way there should be an app for this. It’s so hard to pick something and leave the rest. If only we can pack everything in seconds and it won’t even consume any space in your bag. I wish. Alas, it doesn’t work that way.

 We had an early morning fight, I have packed my stuff and kids stuff by the night, hubby was still chatting on FB, and I was not even sure if I have packed everything necessary. You know that feeling when you feel like what if you have forgotten something. That feeling along with why you are the only one who seems to be worried about everything. That’s when I panicked.

 Now I even had a headache. Wow!!!

 I don’t know what happened maybe a miracle or something that good senses prevailed into my husband and he came to the rescue. In time, I guess. So, I went to sleep after he promised me that he will handle everything and I can rest.

What is the worst thing in having a Vacation?
Valentine Day @ Disneyland

Well, he did. So in the morning I saw the bags all packed, every document in place, every bag placed in the hall near the door and my hubby tiredly sleeping on the couch. I was smiling. Grinning actually from one ear to another after seeing him like that. I knew from that moment that my vacation has started.

Love you sweetie.