Tag Archives: Abhishek Singh

Behind Every Successful Man

If I will get a nickel for all the times, I was introduced using this phrase….

As a person, we all have different roles that we play in a society like a Man is a husband, a son, a father, etc. Same with us Women who are mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, etc.

But what should be the general rule of thumb when you are introduced as someone’s husband or wife? Do post in the comments what you think about this?

Let me give you an example when my husband goes to my office gatherings, he is introduced there as my husband but the next question that they ask is what do you do? What are your hobbies? How do you spend your time away from work? Nobody assumes that he is just a husband. He has a personality that people want to know about.

On the other hand, when I am in a gathering and if I am being introduced by a person, especially from an older generation, as soon as they will say that I am a wife they will follow it with this cringe-worthy quote “Behind every successful man there is a woman.”

Not that, I don’t like to be introduced as his wife. I take pride in that. I am proud of him and his achievements, and ladies if you don’t know that he is married, well, I will parade my customized Mrs. Singh Purse in front of you like a hundred times.  

My problem with this quote is two-fold.

Firstly, when you say behind every successful man/woman or whatever, you are taking away credit for that person’s success. There are a lot of factors that go behind making a person successful, their parents, siblings, friends, education, and financial background, but mostly it is that person who despite good or bad situations chose to become successful. My husband could have been maybe more successful if he had someone else as his wife, or maybe not (as I chose to believe).

I read this story somewhere that two men met at a party and one offered a drink to another and said, I drink because my father was a heavy drinker and now, I am too. It is part of my childhood and I blame my father for giving me this bad habit. The other man declines the drink and says, I don’t drink because my father was a heavy drinker. I saw how alcohol ruined his life and now I have decided to stop this habit in my family generation.

The moral being, many get the same challenges, but it will depend on how you want to respond to your life challenges.

That is why nobody, your husband, or your wife, can make you successful. Own your success. Own your failures too. Your family could be a part of your journey, but it is YOU who are walking the path and making your own way.

The second problem that I see with this quote is why when a lady is introduced as a wife society felt the need to add this quote to justify her existence. It does not matter if you are a homemaker or a working woman, it is so insulting to prove that you are worthy of being a wife only if your husband is successful. What if he is a failure, then are you going to blame it on his wife too? And yes, people do that.

The notion that I let him be or let him do whatever he wants to do, implies that I could have been a nagging wife and stopped him from doing the things he does. So, I should be credited for his success, which is me being a quiet and submissive wife. Argh….

Why can’t a wife be vocal, an active partner, and successful as a team? Why do I have to let him be, why can’t we decide how to be in harmony with each other and work towards shared success. Why is it so hard for people to understand that it is no longer acceptable for a wife to STAND BEHIND?

I am and I will always be STANDING WITH HIM.

Happy Birthday My Darlings – Otu & Renne

Time flies….and when it comes to your kids… time flies faster than a rocket towards moon.

It was just yesterday when my twin bundle of joys, my twin boys Otu and Renne, were first came in my life and now it seems like, they are running my whole life; or, I am running after them, all the time.

On your third birthday, I wish that you grow up to be gentlemen and always be honest and respectable.

I Love you, boys, and here is a little dedication to you from me and your Papa, on your third Birthday.

Frolic Friday – My Hubby is not going to fight for me.

When you fall in Love with your Prince Charming, the love of your life; you have a vision of how he will turn out to be. Like you expect that he will take care of you for the rest of life; he will not let anyone else come between both of you; he will not give up on you, ever; he will not allow any one else to put claim on you, on your love….. etc, etc.

I was hoping the same…. alas. 😦 

My heart broke few days back, when another fellow came between us. He literally dragged me by my hand and took me away from my husband; and my strong built husband didn’t even said a single word. He just let me go, so easily. 😥

My Hubby is not going to fight for me.

It so happened, that one fine day I was watching a romantic movie with my hubby, sitting on our couch, sipping tea and laughing at the silly jokes in the movie. It was like one of those life’s small happy moments. I was cherishing all this, when suddenly my youngest, three-year old son, Renne, came to us.

‘MAMMA’, he said, literally shouting, ‘don’t sit here‘.

I asked, ‘why’?

He replied with irritable tone now, ‘Don’t sit with Papa. Come to my side‘, pointing towards our loveseat couch.

I was not surprised, Renne has always been a mamma boy. If would have been a kangaroo, he would have never come out of my pouch.

I said to him, ‘ sweetie, I am sitting with Papa here. You sit on your couch. I will come later‘.

‘No’, he replied. This time he was sort of angry, not only on me but on his Papa too. I sensed it from the way, he looked at him. ‘Come to my side. Don’t sit with Papa‘.

He was blatant about it.

But I want to sit with Papa. I love him too‘, I said.

No, you love only me‘, he replied.

By this time, I was looking for some help, some support and I turned to my husband.

My husband, the love of my life, my savior, my soulmate….. ‘Why are you not saying anything? Say something to Renne‘.

Hubby – ‘What can I say? I don’t want to come between you two. I can’t fight with him.‘ :O 


See, he gave up, so easily.

Renne won.

My Hubby is not going to fight for me.

Till movie last, he was holding my hand, as if I could have run away. He didn’t even let me go pee. Thank God! He is my son and not a possessive boyfriend/husband.

God, save the girl, he is going to marry some day.

Coming to my husband, he slept on the couch that day.

Wednesday Words – To Teach Kids Independence or Logic?

To Teach Kids Independence or Logic?

We are always telling our kids, right from wrong, but at some point you want to let them decide what they want to do, and also let them do that, even if that means, that they are doing it wrong.

To Teach Kids Independence or Logic?
To Teach Kids Independence or Logic?

My kids are independent more or less in completing their daily chores. They actually exceed my expectations. They dress themselves be it pants, shirts or dresses. They put their socks and shoes by themselves. They are potty trained. They brush themselves, except Renne because he prefers eating paste. 😛

To Teach Kids Independence or Logic?

My life is easy, right? Well, pretty much. Except when this teaching them to be independent results in them doing thing illogically and me trying to explain why their way is the wrong way. Don’t get me? Well, to give you an example, I taught my boys how to put on the pants. Yippee!!!

To Teach Kids Independence or Logic?
To Teach Kids Independence or Logic?

They learned it pretty fast. Then Renne my youngest boy realized it would be better if he wore his pants wrong side. That means zipper on the bum side. Technically it’s safer; he won’t suffer with ‘stuck in zippie’ moments. 😎 I did tried to explain to him that it’s the wrong way to wear a pant. But, you know when a kid accomplish something as big like this, they rarely would agree to undermine their accomplishment.

DSC_0017 (3)

So, he declined. Just refused to put his pants front facing. NO.

After, a big NO, I realized let it be. He will learn on his own. So, I took him outside in his same fashion debacle. I did get many heads turned, not at me but at him, and then me, as if saying, your kid is wearing his pants backwards, didn’t you noticed? 😛

To Teach Kids Independence or Logic?

Their Gym nanny pointed it out too, and when I explained the situation, she was laughing too. Well, this independence brigade didn’t end there, they put their shoes wrong; left in right and vice versa. Tisha, my daughter do change her way when I point it out but boys are too adamant to change anything that they have done on their own.

To Teach Kids Independence or Logic?

What should I do? Shall I return to old ways, where I was putting on their clothes or shall I just let them enjoy their little accomplishments, even though they look foolish to the world? 😐

Frolic Friday – How to Pee? Lesson #101

How to Pee? Lesson #101
How to Pee? Lesson #101

Warning: This post contains some beep beep words like ‘Potty’ 😮 and ‘Pee Pee’ :mrgreen: so if you are drinking Gatorade or eating mashed potatoes – Stop. Stop Eating!

Life is beautiful and simple. So simple till you got our little bundle of joy. After that, your life is beautiful but Difficult. See how I emphasized difficult. 😎

You devise new ideas and tricks to ease out these difficulties. One of my trick was to have more than one difficulty at one time. Oops!!! I meant to say, I have more than one kid. Actually three, two twin boys and a Girl, one year apart.

How did it make parenthood simpler? Well, when you have kids who are almost of same age, you only need to teach one, and other will follow. Smart!!

Every Superiority tactics that I have applied, I did it on Tisha, my girl. For boys, Tisha was the headmistress. She taught them what she learnt from me. 🙂

How to Pee? Lesson #101

When it comes to potty training, I just have to bought a fancy Potty seat for Tisha, and she started using it in course of time. Point to note boys, Give girls something fancy and they will do anything for you. 💡

Boys started early with the whole potty training thing. As they see their big sister using her Potty seat, they followed and next thing I saw, they were doing Pee Pee in their Potty seat. Sitting down. 😛

How to Pee? Lesson #101
How to Pee? Lesson #101

Coming to think of that, now I am kind of understanding, why their Pee was all on floor, when they were doing it sitting on their seat. 😐 I am a tubelight.

So, one fine day, my husband, Abhishek Singh, saw the boys, doing Pee, sitting down in their Potty seat. All hell broke loose.

Why are they Peeing like a Girl? 😡

God, I am really a tubelight. I didn’t teach my boys how to Pee standing up. 😮

How to Pee? Lesson #101Comes Papa to rescue. So, one thing that my husband has taught my kids, is how to Pee standing up. 😐

How to Pee? Lesson #101
How to Pee? Lesson #101

Well, the job is done. They now Pee standing up, straight in the toilet. Sometimes, they do try to make Pee Pee art on walls. But, I guess this is part of being a boy.