“You will understand it, when you will have kids of your own”.
This was the pet dialogue of my mom, which she said every-time I did something, she didn’t approved of (used to happen a lot actually).
I do understand it now. Just can’t say to her, that you were right, Mom.
Just few days back, on Mother’s day, I was discussing with my friends that how girls are always their father’s daughters. Every time you will ask a girl, she will say that she idolizes her father. Then, they asked me, How is Tisha like?
Tisha, my daughter, I know that she adores her father, love him more than anyone else in this world. She will dress up, and will giggle around her papa, just to seek his approval and once he will admire her looks, she will shyly look at her mamma, as if saying, Papa loves me more.
But deep down, I know she loves me more. Honestly. 🙂
(Now don’t feel jealous, Papa. You should be happy knowing that you comes in second best place.)
I was in awe of my Papa too. (still am, and always will be). I think of him as the bestest of best, man on this whole world. No one is even near him (again, don’t feel jealous, hubby). But, with mamma it was something else. I was not in awe of her. I used to have my fights with her, all that nagging and then ending the statement with, “You will never understand me”. She also used to say her famous words, now you are not understanding, but you will know it once you will have kids of your own.
When I reflect upon our relationship now, I actually think of it, as we were more of friends than a mother-daughter. We had our fights, but we always used to make up, we sometimes won’t talk to each other, but soon we used to forget about what we were fighting for. It was like a never ending friendship. We were each others weakness and strengths too. She was always the first one who supported me when I took some of the biggest decision of my life. She was the one who actually inspired me to always take a stand for myself. Ironically, she never practiced that.
She was the good one, silent type, never saying anything bad to others, even when they behaved badly. I was the opposite one. It felt so strange and irritating to me at that time, how she used to behave so good towards people who she didn’t even liked. I used to hate this thing about her. But, when I hear someone talk about my mother, and they would talk of her qualities, I know, showing love to everyone, no matter what, was one of her best quality. I have still to learn that trick. Maybe with time I will be gentle on people, who really deserve hatred. I am trying, mamma.
But, it would be better, if you would have been here to tell me rights from wrong. I still need some learning to do. I have kids of my own now, but still, I want to understand more, from You.
My Journey So Far.... 