How to Celebrate Woman’s Day?

Image March 8, 2014 jcisnowjs 4 Comments

Hurray! Today is The Woman’s Day. Big shout out to that. Yippee, I got a whole day dedicated to me. So, what should I do on my day?

Here are few things which are popping in my mind for the celebration 🙂

Let’s start my day with a hot cup of Tea in bed. Hmm. Good, I would love that. But,who would make this tea? My husband, off course. Let me persuade him to make a cup of tea for me. But, on a second note, why would I want to start my special day with a bad (not bed) tea. He can not even boil water, just imagine what his tea would taste like? 😛 Nobody should go through that torture. Idea dropped.
Next, I was thinking about not cooking anything. No Cooking. Well, I was actually thinking about asking my husband to cook something, but revisiting my first issue with tea, it is in best approach if I’ll drop this idea too. Wait, I can always order something. Yes, lets do that and relax. Wait, what my kids would eat for the whole day? Pizza? Burger? Oh God, no. But, if I have to cook something healthy for kids, why not cook for all? Idea dropped.
Lets Sleep whole day. Yes, this is what I want. A whole day relaxing, spent sleeping or just lying in bed. So, I will cook food first and then I’ll go and rest for the whole day. Wow, I am feeling so good, just thinking about this. Wait, but I can not even go to bathroom alone. Every other second one or the other kid of mine keeps checking on me. They won’t even let me take a bath in peace, how will I sleep for the whole day? Idea dropped.
What if, I’ll leave everyone at home and Go Out, enjoy a nice long drive in car, a short takeaway lunch, for sure a caramel sundae, go to library and hunt for a cracking fiction book, watch a movie in theater and then come back to home sweet home after spending my whole day like this. Wait, but what will happen to my hubby? Pity, how will he handle three kids all by himself? Oh, he is not equipped well. I can’t leave him alone with three kids all by himself. That would be a third degree torture on him. Idea dropped.
What if rather than me going out, leaving all them behind, for a change, let them (hubby and kids) go out for some fun, and stay behind all alone, and do whatever I want. Or maybe do nothing. Well, sounds good. You must be thinking why not all go out and have fun. Well, that’s like everyday, than what would be different on this woman’s day. It won’t be special, if I won’t do anything special. Is it?

Oh god. Woman’s day is not supposed to be so full of planning and work. Leave this whole plan. Why not just enjoy this day like any other day of my life. Just be myself and enjoy, being me.

Life, Spiritual

What does being Dead means?

Image March 6, 2014 jcisnowjs 6 Comments

No, I am not being all dark or over inspired by death. I am not built the pessimistic way. It’s just some events and a writer’s theme inspired me to think about it. You now must be knowing it well enough, that what I think, I write.

So, the thought process started with, what it would be like to be a dead person? What would happen to me one day (not soon hopefully), when I will die?

Strangely, have you ever noticed, when someone dies we actually never think about that person. Yes, it’s true. We rather talk about how was that person in the past. We say, oh he was such a nice man, he was very kind, so lovable. Why it happened to him, he was so full of life?

Or we will think about what would have been his future, only if he hasn’t met this fatal end. We will say, oh he was so bright, he was just about to open up a new business. Or he could have been married next year.

Mostly, we talk about the family, which was left devastated by the loss. We will think about them, their future, like what will happen to them now? How will they cope? How will they move on? What will happen to the kids, to the wife?

We are always worried about the living.

Has anyone thought about it the other way, like where is that person now? Is he seeing us, worrying about his family? Is he around us? Is he crying over his own death, or thinking about the crisis that his family is facing? How is he coping with all this loss? Every one else has lost one important person from their life, but him, he has lost everyone, in just a second. He has lost his mother, father, wife, kids, his aspirations, ambitions, future, everything.

What it would be like if someday I’ll be dead? What would happen to me? What if there is no hell or heaven? I will not go anywhere and will stay here with everyone, just invisible. Not like a ghost, or maybe a ghost just without any demonic powers. What if I’ll be just like an invisible person which can do nothing other than watching everyone going on with their daily routine in few days, weeks, or months.

What it would feel like if after a year of my death (hopefully no sooner), I will be sitting on the same couch with my hubby, but he won’t even notice my presence, or what if he is with someone else? What if he is happy and back to his lively self? What if he is same, like the way he was when I was alive? What if my parents who gave life to me, would not even think of me in their prayers? What would it feel like when my own kids will forget about me. They will adapt to their new life, move on. A life of which I am not a part of. Maybe they won’t even know what their mother was like. Would that hurt me? Hurt me more than the death? Yes, it will hurt me. More than the death itself.

But, what it would feel like if after a year of my death, I will be sitting on the same couch with my hubby, but he would be all miserable, depressive because of my death? What if he is no longer that laughing, cheering, and full of life person that I fall in love with? What would I feel? What if I’ll saw my parents losing faith in God, because their precious child is taken away? What if I will see everyone in my family secretly crying and hiding their tears, so that they will look strong in front of others? What if I will see my kids still waiting for their Mamma to come back. Come back from somewhere, but just come back. What if they are still waiting? Would that hurt me? No, it will not only hurt me. It will tear me down. It will break me the way no death can ever do. It would be the worse.

I would prefer to go to hell for eternity than see my family like this.

I now know for sure that I would be content even with my death, if my family will move on. If they would live a life, which is full of Life. I would want them to move on. Maybe, I would be able to move too.

I am not dead. Not yet.

Thus I pray to God, that no one loose their loved ones.

I just pray…

Life, Movies

Lovelace on a Highway

Image March 3, 2014 jcisnowjs 5 Comments

Warning: Spoilers ahead, in case you haven’t watched the movies “Highway” and “Lovelace”.

A Sunday well spent is, a Sunday spent on a couch watching some random movies and instead of burying them somewhere in your mind, have something to write about them. This Sunday I watched Highway then Lovelace and then a show “Satyamev Jayate S2”. Surprisingly, all three of them were connected to a single theme – Abuse of Women. Here I am not writing about “Satyamev Jayate”, because I believe it would require a separately dedicated post.

So, here comes my review along with my thoughts on the two movies I watched this Sunday.

Highway:

Highway is a story of a posh and high class young girl, who somehow seems to be trapped in that high culture aristocracy of Delhi. But inside she is a child wanting to explore the world, to know what it feels like to be free for a single day. This feeling can be understood by her state of mind as she was getting married the very next day and she decides to have her last freedom drive with her fiancee That is when she got kidnapped by some haryanvi rustic kidnappers. She was taken through a bumpy ride across north India, where by the passing days of her ordeal she discovered that she is tasting freedom for the first time in her life. She is free to go but she is longing to go away further in her journey. She realized that she is actually falling for her kidnapper,(this transition is very badly represented though), a man who has a rough exterior but who respects her and treats her with realism. She is no longer living a fake life of etiquette and good manners. That’s when she breaks down and share her tormenting past of child abuse to her kidnapper. How she had to behave like nothing has ever happened just because they are living in a society where child abuse is not considered a good word to hear. How she was facing her rapist uncle everyday at her home, and still she was behaving normally in front of him, as if the whole thing was not real but some nightmare.

Lovelace:

Lovelace is based on a real life story of girl, Linda, who got famous as a porn star by doing a porn movie once. She was just a regular teenage girl who feel suffocated by her over controlling church going parents and decided to move away with her recently found love interest Chuck. Chuck, who seems to be true gentlemen, soon marries Linda. They hit a financial rough patch and that’s when Chuck decides that the most easy way to earn money would be to have Linda work in a porn movie. She was scared and felt devastated and runs back to her mother, who only sends her back saying that a woman should always obey her husband, and do whatever he desires. She obeys. But Chuck was no gentlemen, not anymore. Beatings started and soon to earn more money he sells her last dignity, her body. Not to a single man but to a group of monsters.

After watching these two movies I realized the condition of women is not different in any part of the world. They may seem progressive sometimes but still many of them are sacrificing their freedom and dignity for their loved once. Sometimes by them and sometimes for them. Only thing that makes a difference in a woman’s life is when she starts listening to herself. When she decides to live her life on her own terms. In both the movies, the protagonist finally stands for herself and that’s when she break this circle of abuse and move on to live a life of dignity and worth-fullness. In Highway, she decides to move away from her parents and live alone her life, working independently. In Lovelace, she decides to leave her abusing husband. She marries again, become a mother, and writes about her “Ordeal” so that she can help other girls who are going through marital abuse.

Reflecting point is that no matter who you are or where you belong to, until and unless you stand for yourself, no one is going to respect you for who you are.

Be yourself. Be strong.

Life, Spiritual

My Last Day

Image March 2, 2014 jcisnowjs 4 Comments

Every morning we woke up and go on with our daily routines, school, college, work, office, market, breakfast, lunch, dinner and so on…. We are living same life again and again. Daily going through the same routine, same tasks, same problems and sometimes same emotions.

But what if, someday you will just come to know that today is your Last Day. I know, no one would like to imagine that, or to live that. But, just think about it, if one morning when you woke up, and you just somehow came to know that today is the last day of your life, and in the night when you will sleep, there will be no tomorrow.

What will you do then? What will you do on your very last day?

I have heard so many versions of this Last Day from friends, families and sometimes total strangers. Largely people say that they will do only good deeds on their last day. They will try to help other people, they will give food, clothes, money, love to everyone who is seem to be in need of it. Why? Because if they will do good deeds than their place after death will be secured in heaven. As if Satan will impart them just because they were good on their last day. Maybe it’s true. How would I know? Satan haven’t discussed it with me. 😦

One of my friend has a total different opinion. He said that if he will know about his Last Day, he will do every bad thing that he wanted to do, but hadn’t done because he was apprehensive of the consequences. Now on his last day, he could do any sort of thing? What worse could happen, he is going to die nevertheless. He has a point. But, doesn’t it mean that over the years he was just wearing a mask of being good. Well, I think most of us have that mask over us, and will probably be in our worst behavior if not for the sake of this mask.

Again coming back to the Last Day, one lady who is a housewife said that if she would know about her last day, she will live that day more adventurously. Maybe she will leave everything behind and just drive to some unknown place, or will try to befriend a total stranger, or will just live her life for the very first time, for the very last day. But, if she wanted to run away than why didn’t do it now? Why to wait for the end to start something new?

Few have said that they will drain their sorrows of last day in drinks and will party whole day and night till their last breath. That’s a really good option for those who want to just forget every pain, every happiness around them and will just immerse themselves in something which will fade away even their last memory.

What will I do?

My current state of mind says that if today will be my last day, I will probably do nothing.

I will just have my same old hot cup of Coffee in my favorite black large mug, and will sit on my favorite spot at the corner of the sofa near the large open window of my living room, will look at the same tree in front of my home; tree that sometimes seems to consume the little Sun in the orange blue sky of morning; tree that sometimes throw out so many black birds chirping and gushing out like they are late for their office work. I will probably try to soak everything. Then in all likelihood, I will hold my current read and will sip the hot coffee while immersing myself in someone else words of wisdom. After having this long ‘Me Time’ I would prefer to lie cuddled in the arms of my love, my hubby, and watch the two most naughty boys of this world tease the sweetest girl by breaking her dolls and pulling her hairs. I would love to see all three of my kids fighting and then come running to me complaining about each other. I would love to spend my last day just like this, doing nothing, just observing and doing nothing in particular. But then coming to think of it, I am living my every day just like I would have lived my Last Day. I am among those lucky ones who are living what they have ever dreamed of.