All posts by jcisnowjs

Blogger, Freelancer, Manager, Software Engineer, Beginner in Crocheting, Struggling Cook, Photography addict, Passionate for long drives n soulful music, Movie buff, Interested in politics, a loving wife and a Mom of three, but still a girl from heart :-)

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Boss and Employee Sexual Relationship: Who is using whom?

Image November 22, 2013 jcisnowjs 2 Comments

Boss & Employee Sexual Relationship — Boss and Employee Sexual Relationship

Indian media is going frenzy with the allegations pressed against the “Tehelka” Magazine editor “Tarun Tejpal”, of sexually harassing a junior journalist. It is shocking to see a renowned media person involved in such a crime, but more shocking is his statement “I feel atonement cannot be just words. I must do the penance that lacerates me. I am therefore offering to recuse myself from the editorship of Tehelka, and from the Tehelka office, for the next six months.”. Read full letter here.

Is this enough? I don’t think so, moreover who is he to decide what punishment he should get? I am quite miffed by this incident, but intent of writing this post is not to talk about this case. Intent is to share my thoughts on the Boss and Employee relationship; relationship that is more than just office work.

Men and women working in an organization together is pretty common, more common is the healthy flirting that goes on between them in the office environment. I am calling it healthy, because this could be a way to break that sexual barrier/tension between the two sexes. But where to draw the line?

Answer to this is not very simple. It actually varies from person to person. Depends totally on the how the other one is going to perceive your gesture. But it’s never a good idea when the two person involved are Boss & Employee or Senior and Junior. If one of them has the power to influence the appraisal or work assignments of the other one, than they should not be, more than the friendly coworker.

Having worked in major organizations for more than seven years, I have witnessed few of such incidents. One that I would like to cite here, is that of a manager who was giving some extra attention to a female employee working two ranks lower than him. It came in notice when that female employee got promoted way before her scheduled time, even when she was not working on any active projects. Manager got sacked, and girl got promoted, again.

Sometimes it’s the other way round too. I have seen many girls, specially in IT field, who are surviving in the industry not because of their knowledge but because of their other skills. One senior manager once asked me to give good ratings to a girl working under me. I objected, as she used to spend more time in coffee breaks and arranging parties in office, than in completing her assigned work. The girl was positioned under another team leader, the very next day. A cute smile, a gentle pat and a little twinkle in your eyes can get you a long way. Long long way…. 🙂

To share a funny incident, once I have seen a guy, helping a girl in distress by trying to write a Java software code for her. Funny thing was, he didn’t even knew what Java was. He couldn’t complete her work, but he did manage to sit with her for half the day. What did the girl get? She managed to get the attention of her team leader, who than sat with her for other half of the day, to complete her work.

On that note, keep enjoying your working environment because some girls have knowledge and talent; some boys have the strength of character.

Tehelka editor Tarun Tejpal steps down for six months over alleged sexual assault (ndtv.com)
Tehelka: How do you associate a sexual assault with someone who you thought stood up for justice? (indianhomemaker.wordpress.com)
Tehelka editor accused of molesting his staff (niticentral.com)
Tarun Tejpal, accused of sexual assault by journalist, steps down as Tehelka’s editor for six months (ndtv.com)
Deeply disappointed with Tehelka response, says woman journalist to NDTV (ndtv.com)

Books

Either “Never tell a Lie” or don’t throw a Yard Sale

November 19, 2013 jcisnowjs Leave a comment

(Review of Hallie Ephron‘s book – Never Tell a Lie)

There are thrillers and then there are some thrillers which are disturbingly weird. Yes, it’s the class of weirdness where Hallie Ephron’s novel “Never Tell a Lie” falls to.

Story is about Ivy and David, happily married couple who are expecting their first child in few weeks. Being kicked by nesting spirit of pregnancy, Ivy decides to get rid of clutter and arrange for a yard sale. Everything was going on smoothly, until an old, not so friendly friend, Melinda shows up. Everything comes upside down when Melinda goes missing and her last known sight was at Ivy’s home. Story unfolds in such a way that it becomes hard to trust anyone around.

Underlying idea behind this book is, should you share every secret with your partner, every mistake and every truth? A lie told to protect a relationship or a person, can it resurface from the past and shake your present and your future.

While I was reading that book, a pregnant friend of mine ask me to suggest a good book to read. I was just about to say, “Never Tell a Lie”, and then I realized that, it’s so much disturbing story, of a pregnant woman, that no other pregnant woman should have to go through reading it.

On a lighter note, the female lead, Ivy in her last month of pregnancy, seems to have the strength of wonder woman, fighting and rescuing herself, all alone. She is also a detective, who likes to enter into weird people’s abandoned houses and look for hidden evidence. One more peculiar thing, a lab can ring you at four in the morning to get your appointment. 🙂

End was a bit disappointing for the feminist in me. Considering that Ivy, forgive everyone involved. Whatever happened in the past, and whoever did that, was a crime and a punishable one. Leastways, the author should have tried to explain the consequences.

Now, that I have finished the book, I am feeling relieved that I don’t have any weird friend. At least not that I know off. 😦

Life

Quote November 18, 2013 jcisnowjs 2 Comments

There are days in my life, when I plan to do so many things but I do nothing; and then there are days, when I just don’t do anything.

Kids and Me, Life

9 things you may not know about me….

Image November 16, 2013 jcisnowjs 4 Comments

(I am second from left in the bottom row, only girl wearing full length leggings)

Here are the 10 Things that you may not know about me.

I used to be a nerd during my school days. Just don’t have glasses on my eyes, but I was always immersed in my books. I had very few school friends, and I am not in touch with almost anyone from my school days.
My family once thought that I got kidnapped or lost somewhere, and they searched the whole neighborhood. All this time, I was sleeping peacefully under the bed.
I used to write a lot of poetry in my school days. No one has read my poems, still have them, but I don’t write anymore.
When I was in my fourth standard, my father promised me a bicycle, if I would come first in my class. I achieved that, and since then I was always among toppers. I am very stubborn when I want something. I have gone to great lengths to get what I wanted, and still do so.
My friends in my college life are very precious to me, they are the ones who introduced me to my social side. My teachers used to call me a chatterbox in college. I was friendlier to everyone and now I am in touch with almost all of them.
My father has always been my idol and my inspiration. I always wanted to be like him, but when I gave birth to my kids and started raising them, I realized that I am actually a carbon copy of my mother. However, this realization came very late in my life.
I have always loved myself. Every bit of it. I like to put myself first then others. Mantra of my life is – If I am not happy, I can not make you happy. Maybe that’s why I have never had any regrets in my life.
Biggest turn on for me: intelligent conversation, wholeheartedly laugh and good sense of humor. Biggest turn off: fake laugh, too much pleasing nature, self praise.
I don’t like girly girls. I don’t like makeup. Don’t like over dramatic and fake people. I like girls who are self-dependent ( does not mean financially, but emotionally and physically too), girls who are ambitious and practical too. Girls with identity of their own.
Out of all the statements, one is not true. I would like to keep some of my secrets from the world. 🙂