I goggled more about her and got to know of a movie made on her life story. To quench my thirst of curiosity I watched “Fatal Love” the movie.
How precious life is? This question we never ask our self until and unless we are faced with the dilemma of losing it. Who could have thought that a mistake that you did when you were sixteen, could lead you to the arms of death. Death which should not come to a twenty six year old girl.
Alison Gertz, was diagnosed with HIV in 1988. She was a girl with full of hope, love and dreams, and all it took was one bad decision, one bad night for her to contrive this deadly disease. What has made her death apart from all the others is the fact that she did not hide herself and her illness. She took it into her stride and told the world about it, educated them. That was worth a million years that she could have lived. She was also awarded with Woman of the Year award by Esquire magazine.
Strange thing with us is that we do not discuss death, we do not discuss sickness. We want to avoid such conversations. We actually want to avoid the person who is sick. Does it matter? Yes, it does. It does matter when we lose someone dear to a chronic illness. But, we never think about it, as if it does not exist.
Time is changing and so are we with time. But, still I have seen so many people who does not want to talk about HIV. I am pretty sure, If they will know a person who has contracted this disease, they will never talk to him/her again. Nevertheless, ignoring something or someone has never ever helped in any situation (unless you are ignoring really really dumb people J ).
About the movie, Fatal Love, I love the way story is portrayed, without much of drama or blame game. Moll Ringwald who has played the part of Ali in the movie is quite extra ordinary in the role. She has done restrained acting, very thoughtful. I really like the scene when her father cried seeing a small girl coming out of elevator talking with her father, or the scene when she saw her boyfriend in the shower cleaning himself rigorously after having sex, and the scene when she asked her mother “What did I do?”.
What we can do? We can certainly open up. Talk about everything just everything, live a healthy life and live our life. Live it to the fullest. 🙂
Yesterday I posted a tweet which was based on change in the strength of a girl once she becomes a mother. Then as I was explaining it further to some of my audience I myself felt the changes that I have gone through with time. I remembered the time when I was that little girl who was always sitting quietly in a corner with a book on her lap. The time when I had no fears, just had a fearwall (yeah its not a typo, I have written it fear-wall and not firewall J ). That fearwall was my Parents.
I was scared of little flies, spiders, frogs and lizards specially (believe me the list is pretty long), but I always knew that I had my mother who will protect me from them.
Now time has changed, I don’t have my mother to protect me but now I am a mother and now I have to fulfill my job of protecting my little ones. That reminds me, I am no longer scared of flies, spiders, frogs, not even of lizards (to some extentJ ). I can take care of them, I can take care of everything, yes everything once it will come down to save my children.
Some of this courage has come with time and knowledge, as now I know that small little flies cannot kill me (unless they are in my food, L Gross….). But, most of it from a simple fact that I am a mother now and I cannot let anyone or anything harm my babies.
So, what changed me, is it the love for my children, or the responsibility towards my kids or some chemicals or hormones have changed in my body? I am not sure, maybe it’s a mix of all or maybe something else. But, I am not alone. I have seen every other mother who can reciprocate this feeling. Every mother is made like this. Made courageous by default. I guess!!!
It can only be a mother who can fight with the almighty, the GodShiva. A fight to save her child. A fight which not only frightened the one who has no fears. Frightened the one who is superior in power to everyone and everything that exists and that does not exist. Frightened the one and all who have tried to harm her child, Ganesh. It can be a mother only who can demand to give life to her dead child, who can show the consequences if her child is not given the life back, who can make even God realize his mistake of harming a child, who can clench the life of her child from the jaws of death. She is a mother, she is not a girl, not a woman, not a human, not a deity/devi. She is a mother and a mother only at that point of time. A mother who can fight with the God.
I have heard so many inspiring stories of mothers, or of the sons who were what they were because of their mothers. In everyday lives too, I have seen girls who were afraid of the dark (who couldn’t even go to the bathroom to pee at night), now after being a mother single handedly rocking their child to sleep in the darkness of night. Big cheers for them!!!
I would also like to share the story of Pooja Chopra and her mother Neera Chopra. Neera was thrown out of her house when she gave birth to second daughter child. But, she survived and struggled for her children. She fought with the world and its hypocrisies to raise her two daughters into two independent and successful human beings. J
There are so many Neera’s around the world all fighting their battles for themselves and for their kids.
When we talk of this motherly courage, this is not limited to us humans only. This is seen so many times in animals also. They also protect their loved ones irrespective of the dangerous consequences ahead. I have seen them fighting with their predators to save their little ones. All credits to Discovery channel J
On this thought, just look around and see all the mothers, see what they are doing for their kids, see what they are sacrificing for their kids. Admire them, encourage them, help them, and appreciate them. Because it’s the best that we can do, rest she will take care of….. because she is a Mother.
I was just wandering in the library and wasn’t able to pick my read. Normally I select my books from the online catalog of library before actually going there. But, this was spontaneous visit and I was kind of getting lost in piles and shelves of books. Strangely, with so many options before me I was not able to choose one. So indecisive of me.
Saw this book. It was on the outer display unit. Liked the cover and short recommendation and picked it up. Yup! just like that.
I soon realized my mistake of randomly picking up a book like that, as I began to find its introduction of characters pretty lame and lackluster. It’s very nonconforming with me that I don’t like dull and single layer characters. So, as I was going through the characters of its three protagonists, all females, I found them very generic and lame. They are like women living across the street, you saw them occasionally, waving, chatting and soon fading away.
One thing which irritates me in the beginning was that the chapters were written with the perspective of the three characters, not like a single observer or story teller. Like each chapter devoted to single one of them – Callie, Suzy and Debs, all having their own voice. It somehow confuses me in the starting as each female says her part of the story with her own perspective when you were already immersed in the previous one. Each has a different take on her surroundings and life in general.
But after reading a moment or two, I realized that how much depth this has given to the whole story. Now, with the proceeding of story I was visualizing three characters telling their story with utmost honesty and specifics, telling stories of their longings, their shortcomings, their struggle, pain, suffering and love.
This novel is listed as a thriller, so I was waiting for that one twist and turn which will spice up this old neighborhood kind of story. It came, though late. By then, you were just wondering if this story has anything else to offer other than telling us how not to be a single mom? Or How to track your husband’s extra-curricular activities? Nonetheless many would be interested in finding it out J
Mystery weaves into the story is pretty smooth and intricate. It flows with the story and suddenly you realize that how did you miss the indications in earlier chapters. It’s written in a very well absorbing and captivating way. After a point I was just not able to put myself to sleep without completing the book, in the fear of what will happen to the poor little girl? Not me poor girl from the novel L
The big drawback or the disappointment that I have with this story is that the end was so one sided. I would have loved to see the whole drama unfolding from Suzy’s eyes. Her perspective was totally wiped out in the end, which if shown could have added more depth and meaning to the narrative. Oh! I am so fascinated by the psychos. One thing to credit Suzy, she truly believed in keeping your friends close, and your enemy closer…. J
Now I am going to sleep and then maybe a trip to the library. This time I am getting Dan Brown’s Inferno. Good Night. ZZzzzz………
Today when I saw this photo on my friends Facebook page (Yeah I do lot of facebooking), the first thought that came to my mind was, are we really original or just copies of each other. This thought lingered in my mind for some time and the reason that I am writing about it, is that it makes me think about me. The kind of people I have met in life and their influence on me. My family, my friends, my enemies (yeah I have lots of them) and some strangers whom I have met but never got the chance to know.
What is interesting in all this thought process is, that I have heard everyone say that they are not like the rest. All of us think that we are different from others and are unique in our own way. Have you ever heard someone say that I am like others? I am pretty common. I am not unique.
Now if you think about it when you talk about others you must have said that X is similar to Y, They are just the same. They are just like each other. Ohhh X you are just like my friend Y, and so on…
Strange right, when we talk about ourselves we say we are unique but when we talk about others we kind of compare them and always presumed some similarities.
Ok, so I was talking about the impact of people who surrounds us. On a personal experience I can say that every person that I have known has given me something, an experience. Some persons give you a positive experience and enrich your life with positivity, but in most of the cases I have found them spreading more negativity. One very clear difference that you can make out between the two is, a positive person is always moving ahead, always growing. He is always learning new things doing something new. He would be the one who is laughing wholeheartedly unaware of his surroundings. He will be the one who will be encouraging you to take risks in life and not holding back. Embrace him/her. Don’t ever lose such people, no matter what is the cost, just hold onto them.
Coming to the negativity, they are those who are always bitching, bitching about life, about neighbors, about office, bosses, friends, relatives, mailman, government…. Everything and everyone in the world. They do blame God also (Yup they do, a lot). They’d say God is always unfair to them, why God has given them pain… etc. They will print a dull picture of life in front of you, they will point out everything that’s bad in you, like you have a big nose, to why are you going to the gym or you are too stubborn or too soft. They will say what you are reading is not worth, what you are wearing is not appropriate, what you are spending is too much, what you are saving is too little, what you are doing with your life is not good enough.
Don’t hold these kind of people in your life, but don’t even lose them intentionally. The key is to let them be where they are. Just don’t promote them in your life. They will leave you eventually if you keep on holding onto your positive side (No promises though). I am not telling you to lose them because some negativity is also important to realize what is at the other end in case you decided to change direction ever. Listen to them and think what are they saying and why are they saying it? Most of the time it’s in their nature that’s why they are pointing out something wrong in you, but do analyze before discarding them as you need to have some critics also J
There are two more kinds of people, somewhat a mix of above.
One who is always negative about others but keep on praising you. They will give you undue importance, will cheer you always, your every move, and your every decision. They show themselves as your true well-wisher. My advice – Stay away from such people. They are fake, real fake. Just keep in mind, if this person is always talking ill of others, he/she will be saying bad things about you also when in the company of others.
Second type who appears sometimes positive but other times they seem to be unsure of their life and surroundings and appear dull or negative. Remember such people are going through a phase and they may need your support. They need your help to sail through the rough phases of life. Do help them, they will always remember you and cherish you.
I know you must be either laughing right now or be confused by seeing such categorization. But this is my current approach of handling the incoming and outgoing tray of people in my life.
This may or may not change in the near future, but I’ll do update this blog in case I met someone whom I am not able to fill in these categories. Till then … keep reading and keep meeting. 🙂